Holding out for a Hiro!

That's right, kids. This Tuesday saw the release of the first season of Heroes on dvd. Full of goodies like commentaries, deleted scenes and an extended/alternate version of the pilot, this box is gold! I for one will be spending the weekend glued to the television and reliving the highs and... higher highs of my favorite new show.

Little Boxes made of ticky tacky

Wow... Last night's episode of WEEDS was the first that I haven't absolutely loved. I was much more into the Celia/Isabel storyline than Nancy's. Where was the gut-busting laughter that usually occurs?? I hope it's just a misfire and not a sign of things to come.

The greatest feeling in the world? When a show you wish you'd never started watching finally fucking ends.

For some reason I suffered through the whole season of "On The Lot" all the way to the last episode which has, thankfully, come and gone. While there were brief bright spots where clever or original short films actually made their way into the show the whole thing generally tanked. "On The Lot" was supposed to be an "American Idol" style reality show pitting ambitious, independent filmmakers against each other in pursuit of their big break and an office at DreamWorks. With Steven Spielberg attached it seemed like it might just make Reality TV seem palatable.

The first couple of episodes, while a little awkward and rushed, did seem to be living up to this idea (if you could block out the fact that Brett Ratner was a judge). Then, suddenly, like a dozen contestants randomly disappeared, the original host was replaced by Adriana Costa and (in not such a bad change) Brett Ratner was replaced with a rotating cast of different movie makers each week. I can only guess that the initial ratings hadn't been what they expected and this mid-show overhaul was intended to create a larger appeal. I guess Adriana Costa, her often displayed bosom, and Academy Awards gowns were supposed to be a big draw. Maybe this worked for twelve year old boys but I wanted to deck her and developed the habit of fast-forwarding through large portions of the show to avoid listening to her awkward, sexually suggestive banter.

To be honest, I was also fast-forwarding to get past hearing Carrie Fisher launch into long incoherent rambles in her role as the shows Paula Abdul and Gary Marshall talk about how "there needs to be more female filmmakers like my sister Penny." Penny guested on one episode and I hope there aren't as many female filmmakers like Penny because she's a little crazy. So, as you can tell, I've got a gripe with the show. So why did I keep watching, you may ask. Well, part of it could be the same masochistic streak that kept me watching the BBC show "Hex." I sometimes like to call that masochistic streak Richard. But with "On The Lot" I think that I kept watching because I really wished that it would be better but with every elimination where someone other than Kenny Luby went home I saw this redemption becoming a fainter and fainter possibility. Although the judges were lamentable, the host was awful and the execution sucked I would like to end with some hope. Some of the short films that were made during the season were pretty cool so here's a selection of my favorites to illustrate that some amount of good can still come out of something involving Brett Ratner.

1) "Die Hardly Working" by Zach Lipovsky

2) "Sweet" by Jason Epperson

3) "Anklebiters" by Sam Friedlander

4) "Unplugged" by Will Bigham

Man O' Mystery

So I've become addicted to yet another reality-TV show: VH1's "The Pick-up Artist." (Sadly, I heard about the show while watching a marathon of "Beauty and the Geek," something that I should probably not admit to but what the hell, I can't look any lamer at this point.) I was intrigued by the show as I remember reading an article on "Mystery" a.k.a Erik Von Markovik in Esquire years ago and I knew that there was even a really popular book about him and his method...a method that has always seemed amazing to me when you actually see what Mystery looks and dresses like.

If you're not familiar with the premise this is the jist: Mystery was a huge dork and completely clueless when it came to talking to women until he decided to re-invent himself, and in the process give hope to millions of Screech-like guys around the world, by testing different "pick-up artist" theories that he himself created. I know that this sounds insane but the crazy shit is that most if not all of his methods actually work, hence the ludicrous amount of money that he makes from holding seminars and teaching his theories to lonely guys and this VH1 show where he takes a group of desperate guys in the hopes of making one of them the 'master pick-up artist.'

Mystery is aided by two former proteges, Matador and J-Dog (their names are even funnier when you see what they look like), and their bizarre pick-up lines and clothing only makes the fact that THIS SHIT ACTUALLY GETS THEM WOMEN seem even more insane and impressive. The lonely guys vying for the title of 'master pick-up artist' are pretty brave to appear on the show and display all of their desperation for millions to see...but they are also pretty desperate.

What I like about the show, and the reason why I keep on watching, is the "mystery" that surrounds what exactly gets and keeps a woman interested in a guy. I think that Mystery is sincere in his efforts to give the guys competing more self-confidence and I really don't think that his ultimate goal is to get these guys laid (although that would be an obvious bonus). Confidence and self-respect is the key to his game and is the way that he's gotten to where he is (it certainly isn't thanks to the bizarre outfits, random furry hats and aviator goggles) and that is a lesson that we could all gain from learning. That and, no matter what you do, never cock block a friend.

My vote for the next guy to get kicked-off: Pradeep. He is neither Pra nor deep, and kind of a major prick.

Dream of "Californication"

After this Monday night's episode, episode two of the new Showtime series "Californication," I'm not so sure about my like for this insanely-gratuitous-tits-and-ass half-hour show.

The thing is: I *love* David Duchovny. I will pretty much watch anything that he is in (and have) and he is the only thing keeping me onboard at the moment. In the first episode, I let a lot of downright-silly moments slide because they were setting up his character, that of the witty-albeit-completely-reckless writer/dad/whore, Hank Moody. The one-liners were funny and the actors great all-around (although it is still really creepy to see the youngest girl from "The Nanny" all grown-up, naked and reverse donkey-punching during sex) but it still left something to be desired, namely the "wow, this is an awesome show that I can't wait to keep on watching" factor.

But I could see where the story-line was headed potentially and that was enough to make me want to watch the second episode...until I saw the second episode, that is.

It was filled with all of these cheesy editing styles, which I know are meant to make the show look and feel more "L.A." but just came off as annoying and pointless to me, and yet again, more ramdom shots of tits and ass. I get that Hank is a playboy and sleeps with anything that shows the slightest bit of interest but, for the sake of his own likeability, does he have to look so pathetic? It's almost as if the writers of the show don't have enough interesting story-lines or dialogue to go around so they just place INSERT BREASTS into their scripts when all else fails. And no matter how cute David Duchovny's butt looks in those boxer briefs, it's starting to get old. Fast.

Last night's DAMAGES all about Tate Donovan

Tate Donovan finally got his 15 minutes of air time last night on DAMAGES as the Patty-whooped Tom Shayes finally revealed his secret agenda: to be Close, so Close, to Her Royal Closeness.

Despite being approached by "The Clients" to take over the case, and despite Cutler's proposal to make him a partner, Tom "Tomahawk" Shayes opted to remain loyal to his boss of 10 years. The episode itself was kinda lackluster in that it dwelled a lot more (for the first time, too) on Shayes' character without revealing any insight or clues as to the secrets of the show. On a previous episode, for instance, Katie's drug-addled whoring ways were revealed in sordid detail, but were done so in order to show how crucial a witness she really coulda been if, say, she hadn't taken the blue pill after all.

Of course, this is the same series that cut a score with the words "Trust No One" on repeat during one of the last, revealing scenes of the episode, so we have yet to see if "Tomahawk" has ulterior motives: if he was playing Patty all along to get a raise, and if Patty--seemingly omniscient--knew all along and played him back by preying on his insecurities, "You're a great #2," she tells him in one scene. Ah, to be told words more often spoken aloud in the bathroom...

Highlights: Donal Logue's greed-is-good, but-dating-20-year-olds-is-better character. Most memorable line: "Pinch my dick." Which reminds me, how is it that the FX show can get away with such tourette-like language?

And Glenn Close. Oh my. She steals the show. The rest of the time I just find myself waiting for Ellen or Tom to be more like Patty. "Be more like Patty," I say aloud to the television.

Lowlights: The secrets. While other people might like this whole murder-mystery theatre thing and get excited at the prospect of having eight more episodes to figure it out, I shudder at the thought. Having already spent all my mystery-guessing brain cells on LOST this year, I kinda just want them to get to a point, any point.

Recap: Each episode, we're given one, two, three minutes tops to see the present situation. So far we've gathered: Ellen had a struggle. She killed someone in Patty's apartment, presumably out of self defense. And her fiancee/ex-fiancee is murdered by the horrible Lady Liberty bookends, which for some god awful reason Ellen decides to touch and get her fingerprints on. But I need to know more, and the reality is, with each episode that passes, I become a little less interested. Especially when you start going into character development for character development's sake. Thus far, this show is not about development: it's about motives, it's about MOs, it's about the sacrifices made to reach a goal. This week's episode felt out of place, but I'll keep watching. I always keep watching for more clues.

Veronica Mars, Superhero?

Hello all!
A bit of great news has sprung up at IMDB. It would seem that our favorite teenage P.I. is going to be gaining superpowers next season when VERONICA MARS herself, Kristen Bell joins the cast of HEROES for it's second season. According to the article, Bell was considering a part on LOST, but chose HEROES instead.

I cannot wait!
-rick

Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome...

Hello all!
Welcome to the Official Pictures and Frames Magazine television blog. Our crack team of couch potatoes are in place, eyes forced wide-open CLOCKWORK ORANGE style to watch hours upon hours of brain-cell-sucking television and blog about what to watch, what to avoid, and what to watch but pretend you avoid. Like HEX.
A note about the name of our blog, "Dance, Colin, Dance!": This comes from the most brilliant tv show of all time, a little british comedy called SPACED. Created by & starring Simon Pegg (of SHAUN OF THE DEAD & HOT FUZZ fame) and Jessica Stevenson (of SWING KIDS... fame...), SPACED followed the lives of a pair of mismatched flatmates, their kooky neighbors, and a dog named Colin.
But since we can't find a video clip of the "Dance, Colin, Dance!" scene, here's a montage about Scrabble!



xxoo
Rick
pop-culture junkie.

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