RIP Sprinkles/PB+J!

THE OFFICE is back and STILL funny. About halfway through the episode, I found myself wondering how long this show can continue being consistently hysterical. Over the last year it has been the highlight of my week. It never lets you down. It won't now. Plus... John Krasinksi. Yeah... Jim is hands down the best guy on the planet. Which is sad considering how COMPLETELY FICTIONAL A GUY LIKE THAT IS!!

*pout*

Fall TV Lineup: Wednesdays

Note to NBC: Quit making your pilots seem like hurried, watered down versions of the pilots they could've been. Furthermore, using the song, "Breathe Me" by Sia is sacrilege. You don't get to play the saddest song of life from the saddest series finale of life (SIX FEET UNDER) in the attempt to have me connect to this current, unemotional show. Wondering what show I'm talking about? Why it's...


BIONIC WOMAN, 9 pm-- Evil secret government agency creates bionic soldier. When she goes terribly wrong, they try to put her down. She comes back meaner and madder than ever and rams a truck into one of the doctors and his unsuspecting fiancee. Doctor sews her up with anthrocytes (microscopic intelligent chips that cause rejuvenation, agility and super strength). Patient wakes up a new woman. New Bionic Woman must face old Bionic Woman (not Lindsay Wagner).

While it is a much darker remake, and the special effects are infinitely better, the pilot felt rushed and unemotional. Thus far, gotta say, not loving the NBC premieres...

What I did love, though, was the homage to the special effect noise the 70s show used to employ to symbolize her bionic powers. It was subtle, and felt more like background music, but it was there; a modernized version of it.

Also, Michelle Ryan as Jamie Sommers was vulnerable and likeable because she is so "Plain Jane" and full figured. My only hang up with her is that she's not as toughened or hardened as I like my female supervixens. But I'll give her some time.

Final verdict: NBC thinks we're stupid. There's no other excuse as to why they're feeding us pilots stripped of intelligence and development, and instead are giving us episodes chock full of flash-bang-boom.


Meanwhile, on ABC...
(Take notes, NBC)


PRIVATE PRACTICE, 9pm--Dr. Addison Montgomery moves to LA and works in a private practice with a quack, a shrink, a surfer, an internet-sex addict and a recent divorcee. Sounds drama-full? It is. Love it or leave it, the show follows Shonda Rhymes GREY'S ANATOMY formula: quirky, zany characters encountering rare, unique case studies that lead to some personal growth via humor and the occasional life threatening condition. To differentiate between shows, brighter colors were utilized both on set and in wardrobe, and Addison has adopted a goofy attitude. Kate Walsh does a good job with the script, and the rest of the cast stands their ground, too. It's always fun to see Tim Daly in a show that hasn't been cancelled (EYES, anyone). However, I was very sad to see Merrin Dungey be replaced. Who says the Francinator couldn't play that role? While this wasn't the pilot (the pilot aired during a regular GREY'S episode), it was still an engaging show. Think of it as GREY'S all grown up and living in the LA sunshine, instead of all that dreadful Seattle drizzle: It's a little bit shallow, a little bit smarmy, a little more realistic, but just as fun.

Final verdict: I'll likely get my weekly dose. GREY'S is still better, but this is a worthy spin-off.


DIRTY SEXY MONEY, 10pm-- If the cast of GOSSIP GIRL matured some 20 years, they'd be the Darlings: the uber-rich, old money, spoiled brats of ABC's latest drama, DIRTY SEXY MONEY. Peter Krause stars as Nick George, the lawyer with a soul (always an oxymoron, in my humble opinion) who inherits daddy's job as the Darling family lawyer. Along with a staggering paycheck, Nick George inherits all the drama that goes along with the numerous Darling spawn. There's a crooked priest, a married government official involved with a transvestite (played by the divine Candis Cayne), a druggie, and a Paris Hilton-ite.
The zany, offbeat music tells the audience that the show should be funny, and some moments were, but the first half of the show felt dirty, for lack of a better word, with its sickening display of wealth and smarmy-ness. It isn't until the near end, when we discover Nick George's father had been having an affair with the Darling matriarch, and that it could have had something to do with his death, that the audience finally has a reason to believe that do-gooder George has a real motive for working with the family he hated as a child.

For all the hype and the subway ads, MONEY did deliver. Leave it to ABC to present a well-written, well-acted, believable pilot.

Final verdict: If it doesn't get cancelled, it will become America's guilty pleasure. You can take that to the bank.

What's your Damage?

I'm happy to report DAMAGES is back on track. After two boring episodes, the gripping drama has managed to make a believer out of me once more. You'll be happy to hear that Frobisher is still sinking fast, and new reports of bribery from the past have resurfaced, forcing him to desperately want to settle. His final offer: a staggering $800 million. Still, Patty Hewes refuses (ooh, that rhymed) claiming, "I want history to erase your every achievement." Ouch.

Ellen has been arrested for the murder of her fiancée, David, and won't be let out unless she can post $1.5 million for bail. The plot has now thickened as we learn Lila is seemingly stalking David, and is completely out of her gourd. So much so she visits Ellen at work to inform her that she's been sleeping with her fiancée. This, of course, coupled with knowing that Lila has a pair of David's keys (which she stole) raises questions as to Lila's involvement with David's murder.

A surprising twist, Gregory Malina reappears in Katie's life and, unbeknownst to her, makes a confessional videotape detailing all the players involved with Frobisher. Hours later, he's killed.

Scenes from the present also reveal Ellen asking Patty if they'd "gone too far" with what they'd done. Which is as cryptic as I just made it out to be.

But most surprising of all is the scene showing Patty Hewes going ape shit crazy, in tears. The woman has emotions? Who knew?

It will be interesting to see how this all goes down. The pieces are all in place, waiting. Just a handful of episodes left.

Fall TV Lineup: Tuesdays

With DAMAGES set to finish soon, and the advent of NIP/TUCK, there's not a whole lotta good TV going around on Tuesdays. Fortunately, the CW has more in its arsenal besides the addictive TOP MODEL and the asinine GOSSIP GIRL.


REAPER, 9 pm-- I'm impressed. Slacker Sam Oliver (played by GROUNDED FOR LIFE'S Bret Harrison) turns 21 and encounters oddities that usurp his ordinarily stable, lackluster life. Telekinesis, a pack of wild dogs, and the devil himself all show up for Sam's big birthday. He soon discovers his parents sold his soul to the devil before his birth in order to overcome a debilitating illness. The devil decides he has better use for Sam on Earth as a bounty hunter of sorts, catching escaped souls and delivering them to hell portals using hell vessels disguised as house products, i.e., a Dirt Devil mini-vac. How cute is that? A Dirt Devil. Hilarity ensues, and it does effortlessly, as the characters deliver on well-crafted dialogue, and the story line engages with its wit, making this a rarity among many CW shows. Kudos to Kevin Smith for directing the pilot, and even bigger kudos to the actors for being able to pull off comedic timing with natural ability and charm. I can only hope that this show doesn't suffer the same fate most intelligent and unique TV shows suffer (a la FIREFLY, WONDERFALLS, etc...)

Final verdict: Helluva pilot (pun intended) with likeable "losers" finding redemption in the oddest of ways.

Fall TV Lineup: Mondays

NBC has apparently bought all the decent programming and is vying for your viewership, audiences. But before you clear your schedules and set your DVRs, here's the rundown on the series and season premieres for Mondays:


CHUCK, 8 pm-- Adorable nerd Chuck (played by the charming, mini-Jewfro sporting Zachary Levi) is sent an email message from a former college frenemy containing all the secrets of the CIA and the NSA combined. Chuck remains unaware, but now both agencies want whatever's in his head, at a deadly cost. CIA supervixen Sarah displays feelings for the goofy computer geek and sets out to protect him. Of particular interest will be determining why the former frenemy chose Chuck in the first place, and the details surrounding Sarah's relationship with said frenemy. *Said frenemy is played by Matthew Bomer, formerly of the short-lived TRAVELER* Season previews also show the NSA agent (Adam Baldwin, of ANGEL and FIREFLY fame) working alongside Chuck, as a civilian, in the Best Buy-esque technology store where Chuck earns his meager $11 per hour.

In terms of likeability, I like the whole notion of a nobody-turned-semi-hero, but the writing was a little too fast for me, and somewhat unbelievable. As a former ALIAS fanatic, I feel fairly certain the espionage world is not as funny or as soft as this show makes it out to be.

Final verdict: Cute and fluffy espionage comedy with little room for real character development.



HEROES, 9 pm-- What the hell? All last season I bitched and complained to anyone who'd listen about the show's snail-like pace. Even LOST did a better job at getting to all the characters and fleshing out their stories. But I stuck around because the show was innovative and fresh; completely unlike anything I'd ever seen. Then, in the last few episodes of the season, the show took off with uncharacteristic speed and development, redeeming itself and proving the show's writer actually had brains. Cut to the season premiere, where we're left with a slower paced and an unengaging plotline. New heroes are introduced, as well as the notion of a killer plague that goes after those with abilities. Gone is the sense of novelty associated with last year's premiere. In its place is a B-side of a start: Claire is in a new school, with a new (flying) hero avidly pursuing her. Molly has apparently been adopted by Mohinder and Matt Parkman (kinda sweet, very MY TWO DADS). Nathan Petrelli is sporting a beard, and Peter Petrelli has lost his memories (but not his powers). And in an entirely surreal and unbelievable twist, David Anders (otherwise known as Julian Sark) is revealed as Takezo Kensei. By the looks of the season preview, Sylar is still alive, and I'm already tired of him. Looks like I'll have to wait until May for any real development.

Final verdict: If I weren’t the couch potato I am, I would actually just wait till the DVD came out. But alas...


JOURNEYMAN, 10 pm-- People I don't know star in this drama about time-travel and saving other people I don't know. The premiere felt like a 2-hour show had been stripped of any real dialogue and interaction to fit into a 44-minute show. Everything happens entirely too fast and I cannot connect nor care about the characters and the way it affects their lives as the star, Kevin McKidd, goes in and out of time as haphazardly as the editing of the pilot. If the pilot had been fleshed out more, I would be inclined to pay more attention. Interesting plotlines are set in place, i.e., star's former deceased lover is not really deceased but a time-traveler as well. For now, I will keep watching. But if the next episode is as disappointing as this one, I just may have to make the journey to another TV show.

Final verdict: QUANTUM LEAP on crack.

Suck Yourself!!

Okay, WEEDS has definitely got it's mojo back. Last night's episode was hysterical AND full of surprises. How about that finale? Plus, a dig at new-age phenomenon THE SECRET that made me have to heimlich myself. Fantastic! Keep an eye out on The Pictures and Frames Website as we'll be devoting our October Spotlight to the one and only Mary-Louise Parker.

In the meantime...

I love PROJECT RUNWAY. But until it premieres in November, I'm glad to have my weekly fix of Tim Gunn on Bravo's TIM GUNN'S GUIDE TO STYLE. Sure he's far meaner than he ever was on PR, and sure he does the sourpuss face alot, but he teaches me new vocabulary words.

This week, "cull:" to gather the choice things or parts from. As in: We have to cull what we can from this show until RUNWAY begins.

Also, the show makes me cry. Something about giving women inner confidence through the superficial act of fashion really tugs at my heartstrings...

I want to fast-forward to the last episode already!

So DAMAGES is fast becoming a soap opera. Kinda disappointing. What started out as an innovative, intelligent show is now becoming a telenovela. You've got the crazy girl who's in love with the engaged guy, and she has keys to his apartment and watches them shower, then tells the cops she was having an affair with him and they were gonna live together (and uses the keys she stole from him as evidence). And you've got the snake lawyer who can't sleep cause he's hiding a secret. Could it be that he knows Frobisher is a crooked con man, which would mean he's developing a conscience and, thus, could ultimately help undo Mr. F? No, turns out he has a thing for guys. Whoop-de-doo, what is this, 1995?

Speaking of Mr. F, he's really unhinging fast, huh? The best scene of the whole night was watching him berate the ghost writer. To think, maybe one day I will be a ghost writer being berated by a bamboozling billionare. *sigh*

Still love that Glenn Close though, even as she co-pilots Ellen's engagement into the ground with her wily, manipulative ways.

Gotta say, though, the last two episodes have felt way out of character. And isn't this supposed to be an eight episode deal? If so, it's shaping up to be a disappointment.

Of course, you know I'll keep watching.