MELROSE PLACE redux

I remember watching "Melrose Place" the first time around. It started off a bit dull, but the characters were likable and I was excited at the prospect of a regular character being an openly gay man, a rarity when the show began in 1992. In time, it actually became a bit more interesting as it turned into more and more of a soap opera. But eventually it wore thin the way soap operas typically do, at least for me. I have a strict rule: If I start to hate all the characters and wish them dead or start shouting at the television "Oh my GOD you are all so fucking RETARDED!!!" I have to quit watching. This happened with "Dawson's Creek." And "Everwood." And "Grey's Anatomy." Essentially this happens with any show that focuses on the love lives of a group of people who will eventually have used up every single combination of romance until you're expecting Sandra Oh & Katherine Heigl or Dawson & Pacey to end up together because they're the only coupling left.

So I hung up the "Melrose Place" habit long before it was peopled by that creepy Dave whatshisname and Alyssa Milano. But I remembered being entertained by crazy Sydney & Michael and when the new series was advertised, I thought... "Oh God, no." I don't know what happened, what made me turn my television on tonight to the CW (that shoulda been a warning sign) to watch the premiere of the new version of "Melrose Place."

But I did. And I'm ever so sorry. A group of beautiful and mostly unsympathetic characters are now living in the building. Sydney is the landlord. At least until the end of the opening scene, when she's floating in the iconic pool, surrounded by blood. Ah, so the first saga of the series is: Who Killed Sydney? Michael Mancini, of the original show also appears, looking not one day older and with a connection to one of the new people. Ashlee Simpson Wentz plays the Courtney Thorne-Smith nice girl part. Adorable Michael Rady of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants plays a cute/dorky film geek whose proposal to his girlfriend of 5 years is interrupted by the discovery of the body. There's also a bitchy bisexual PR chick, a sketchy alcoholic chef. a douchebag... I don't know what, just a douchebag who apparently had a thing with Sydney, and a beautiful med student who ends the first episode by accepting $5,000 for a night of sex with Adam Kaufman, who played Kerr Smith's beautiful boyfriend on "Dawson's Creek" ages ago. By the end of the hour I was so ashamed that I had actually watched this show, and mortified when my flatmate walked in on me. I would have preferred him catching me while watching the Eric Dane sex tape.

I feel dirty and ashamed and I need a Silkwood shower. The only solution was to catch up on a show that isn't on network television, but is actually smarter and more entertaining than anything you're likely to find there, "The Guild." Check out the show at watchtheguild.com and you'll find hilarity and smarts, as written by Felicia Day of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog fame. The third season has begun and is available to stream on MSNBC's site. Likable characters, people you're rooting for and something you don't have to feel bad about watching. Also in the new season's second episode: Wil Wheaton. In a kilt. Hot! Give it a try. As for Network TV, I'll take "Glee" (which returns on September 9th!) and maybe "Dollhouse" if it remains as good as the second half of it's first season eventually got. But man do I miss "Lost."

Buffy/Twilight Mashup...Reminds us of a time when Joss Whedon didn't make his leading ladies into prostitutes.

G is for Great! : Greensburg, Gossip Girl, oh, and True Blood!

"Greensburg," the Leonardo DiCaprio-produced reality show (which airs on Planet Green) has technically been on for about 4 months now, but since this past week's episode chronicled the one-year anniversary commemoration of the destruction (and consequent rebuilding) of their town, I thought I would write about a show which, as far as I know, has not gotten the attention it deserves. "Greensburg" is really about community, and what communities can do when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. Such as, say, your entire town being wiped out.

After a tornado hit last year, the town decided that they would rebuild Greensburg as an entirely sustainable community, down to LEEDS-approved businesses and commercial centers, and energy-efficient homes. What makes this show particularly interesting is how people in a small town such as Greensburg deal with this huge change to their lifestyle. How they slowly come together and argue their way toward this change is both refreshing and inspiring--even their high school students get involved, as can especially be seen with the amazing Taylor Schmidt (see cute blonde guy above!). I know that he is still only in high school (down Lily!) but the kid is just amazing. His intelligence and wisdom are well beyond his years and serve the town and its people very well.

In other inappropriate high school boy musings, Season 2 of "Gossip Girl" began last week and what a start it's been. Although Serena and Dan (yawn!) are the Zach and Kelly of this prom, I tune in every week for the Blair and Chuck show. This past week's episode especially brought out the erotic in both of these fabulously campy characters and it was, as always, a guilty pleasure to behold. If I had my way I would scrap most of the characters on this show and make it all about them, but that's what I have my dirty fan fiction for.

"True Blood" is the newest show on HBO and the latest by Alan Ball of "Six Feet Under" fame. I have to admit that after my obsession with the "Twilight" series, this show had me at "vampire." Thus far it has been bloody and creepy and surprisingly engaging, with Anna Paquin offering a great performance as the underestimated, clairvoyant Sookie Stackhouse. My only complaint about the show thus far lies with the casting of Bill--Stephen Moyer isn't exactly what I think of when I think "hot vampire" but then again, they can't all be Robert Pattinson.

The fall season is off to a good, smutty start.

The Soup: Making Life Better One Hilarious Reality Show Clip At A Time

I know that we have a whole slew of new TV shows coming up next month but I thought I would pay tribute to a little show on E! called "The Soup." I read a great article in last month's Details on host Joel McHale and it made me realize just how much he plays a part in the show's hilarity and success. McHale is intelligent and sincere and somehow taps into what most of us feel when we watch reality TV, namely, a little nauseous. My weekends would be empty without an episode of "The Soup" to look forward laughing to.

Above are just a few of my favorite recent clips.

When I was 15, I got my ears pierced and my nana called me a whore

So there were two television series I was really looking forward to last Fall that didn't show up until this past month. One, THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES was the new sitcom by GILMORE GIRLS genius Amy Sherman Palladino. The other starred my favorite contemporary comedienne, Judy Greer (known to some as Kitty "Say goodbye to these!" Sanchez, MISS GUIDED.
I had high hopes for JEZEBEL, what with Sherman Palladino and Parker Posey teaming up. Throw in the invulnerable Miss Lauren Ambrose and you have yourself a contender for best show ever. And then it aired. What seems like it ought to be a perfect combination- Sherman Palladino's quickfire banter with Parker Posey's manic hyperactivity- somehow manages not to work at all. Like, not even a little. The only thing worth watching in the two episodes that aired was Ambrose as Posey's slacker sister. The story was interesting (Posey played a book editor who was unable to concieve and asked her sister to carry her baby) and the dialogue definitely had it's moments, but none of it worked in the end. Normally I'd be grumbling about FOX once again letting a show air two times before pulling the plug like impatient bastards. And, yeah, it does seem a little unfair. But I'm sorry to say this (and it truly hurts me to say it as a fan of all of the women involved), it is one show that I think deserved the axe.
When it comes to MISS GUIDED, I was excited about seeing Judy Greer, knowing that she is gold in anything she does. (She made the whole ELIZABETHTOWN experience hurt a little less, even!) I didn't really know what to expect from the show, which is about a former high school geek who grows up to be the adorable high school guidance counselor, who has a crush on the oh-so-hot-former-auto-shop-teacher-who-now-teaches-Spanish. Of course the hot bitch she went to school with also returns as a teacher/cheerleading coach. Greer absolutely conquers again, proving herself to be in the same league as Mary Tyler Moore, which is like the pinnacle of sitcom goddesses as far as I'm concerned. What surprised me is that there is more about MISS GUIDED than just the lovely Miss G. The show is actually REALLY funny. Like, funnier than any other sitcom (barring of course THE OFFICE) currently on the screen. (Yes, editor lily, even funnier than SAMANTHA WHO?).
The question is: Will it last? With only a handful of episodes to air (most of which already have- the remainder will air on April 3rd), has MISS GUIDED made enough of an impression to make a return in next Fall? I hope so. It's worthy of a comeback. Please, please, PLEASE tune in next Thursday to catch it!

Damn you Ashton Kutcher!

My favorite show (sad to admit but nonetheless true) of last season was the Ashton Kutcher-produced "Beauty and the Geek." I looked forward to that show, and loved Dave the Larper, much in the same way that "Lost" and "Heroes" fans pine for their fuzzy unanswered questions and melodrama.

And now the Kutch has gone and fucked all that up! Now, rather than have the Beauties and the Geeks paired up together as partners, we have them competing against one another, making it pretty much like EVERY OTHER REALITY TV SHOW currently on the air.

I don't know how long I'll stand to watch the show this season but for now I am rooting for the guy with no discernible eyes.

(RIP: Dave and Jasmine! May larping live on forever!)

I *heart* Gabriel Byrne

No, this is not going to be yet ANOTHER post where I rant and rave about my love for older men (although considering how HOT Viggo Mortensen looked at the Oscars on Sunday, would anyone really blame me?) but rather this is a fantastically late review of the HBO drama "In Treatment."

I am so addicted to this show. Although I have read several reviews stating that it is too "talky" (which is completely ridiculous considering it is a show that revolves around therapy sessions) I find myself, episode after episode (Literally! The show features a new episode every night) completely immersed in the words that each character speaks and the nuanced performances of all of the actors, especially Byrne and Dianne Wiest (who plays Byrne's Paul's therapist).

It is also great to see underrated actors such as Blair Underwood, Michelle Forbes (a.k.a Julianna Cox on "Homicide") and my beloved Josh Charles (who will always be Dan Rydell to me) on TV again. Each actor really plays against typecasting--playing often unlikeable characters thus far--and they all shine in their difficult roles as a result.

This show is about therapy, and about the things that we discuss when we are at our most intimate, vulnerable and trusting. Every episode I feel as if I am being analyzed as well, as if Dr. Paul is my therapist... the show is that believable and engrossing. There isn't much to watch on TV right now, especially not until the after-effects of the strike wear off, and this show definitely deserves all of your undivided attention.